A Good Day to Die Hard

A Bad Day to Be A Fan of Die Hard

You know, it really wouldn't surprise me if he were aiming at the screenwriter (Courtesy of techfleece).

A few days ago, I looked up this movie on Rotten Tomatoes. No reviews had been posted yet, but I saw the runtime was 97 minutes, which is relatively short for a typical 2+ hour entry in the Die Hard series. This should've been the indicator that this wouldn't be the strongest entry in the series. However, I never would have guessed that this would be the hands-down worst entry in the critically acclaimed buddy-action franchise, or that it actually brought the high standings of the franchise down several notches. My blind faith in the Die Hard series has always paid off, until now. 

Maybe the reason I thought the 97 minute runtime didn't automatically warrant a terrible Die Hard movie was because it could've had a compressed, effective screenplay that caters to the audience that prefers their awesomeness in smaller doses. Sadly, this turned out to be a false belief. This was one of the worst screenplays I recall from recent memory, mainly because about a fifth of it allotted for a ridiculous car chase, backed up by the most hollow sense of urgency I might've ever seen on the big screen. You can only make a moving object fly off a bridge and hit another object so many times before the audience says "Okay, that's enough." Did screenwriter Skip Woods come up with a screenplay that only covered 70 minutes? And then, upon being told he needed to add 20 more minutes, did he make the spur-of-the-moment decision to include an elongated and unnecessary car chase? If you told me that's not exactly how that went down, I wouldn't believe you. 

And now, the plot. I think it's appropriate I delayed going into it in the first paragraph or two because the movie waited such a long time to get into its own "plot" (if you'd be generous enough to grant it that term). John McClane, our favorite rogue NYC cop, is informed his son is being held in a Moscow prison. John Jr. (Jack, as his father calls him) has only been seen prior to Good Day as a dialogue-derived addition to the first movie. Now grown up, Jack is working as a spy for the CIA, assigned to stopping a nuclear weapons heist. Before John can get to Jack, Jack manages to escape from his trial, after an explosion miraculously kills everyone in the entire courthouse except for him and two others. Jack tries to get back to his mission, but John holds him up with his arrival. With John having blown his operation, Jack is clearly frustrated, but as we learned from Live Free or Die Hard, feuding McClanes make for a kick-ass team in the falling action. 

That's all that really needs to be said about the plot. Actually, scratch that - that's all that deserves to be said about the plot. The movie is primarily dominated by things blowing up, things crashing into other things, and Bruce Willis delivering witty and timely commentary. While it's true this makes up a bulk of the previous four installments, there was always a brilliant balance of action and plot. That's what made the original Die Hard an instant classic. In a Die Hard movie, it's not so much to ask for original, smart and clever action. Here in the fifth entry, the action isn't original, the action isn't smart, and the action isn't clever. In short, this isn't Die Hard. It's an absolute shame that this bears the name of an otherwise phenomenal film franchise.

The only positive attributes I can give to this film are Willis's usual spot-on delivery as McClane (make no mistake - Bruce is still Bruce here, it's the filmmakers that failed him) and about a 10 minute sequence of enjoyable action. While the second half wasn't as god-awful as the first, there's nothing here to recommend. Do yourself a favor - stay home, save your money, and watch one of the four other Die Hard movies so that your faith in one of the most admired action franchises won't diminish. Or go rent The Perks of Being A Wallflower on Amazon or iTunes - it came out on Tuesday and surely won't disappoint, unlike A Good Day to Die Hard.

Rating: 1.5/5